Are You Sick Of The Colin Kaepernick/ National Anthem Scandal? Me Too

In the history of scandals that weren’t really all that scandalous, Colin Kaepernick’s peaceful, silent protest of not standing during the National Anthem rates somewhere between Howard Dean’s shouting and Hillary Clinton eating at Chipotle.

And yet, this story is inescapable. It’s on every square inch of social media. Your Mom has strong feelings about it one way or the other (you thought I was going to make a joke there, but I didn’t! Ha!).

As one might expect, conservatives are the ones making the biggest stink over Colin Kaepernick’s National Anthem protest. A black athlete taking a stand against police brutality by refusing to participate in a costless gesture of patriotism? Yeah… it’s pretty obvious where their views stand.

Conservatives like to tell themselves they’re the most patriotic people in all the land. They pride themselves on their outward displays of empty, quasi-phony patriotic platitudes and their penchant for play-acting American exceptionalism, at least when it isn’t propping up any idea they don’t personally like.

So when a black person like Colin Kaepernick or Gabby Douglas fails to meet or exceed their standards of civilian patriotic duty, they blow a gasket.

There’s just one problem with their outrage: it’s a huge double-standard, coming from a group of people who do unpatriotic things every single day without batting an eye. One could easily list hundreds of unpatriotic infractions conservatives commit on a daily or weekly basis, each of them worse than refusing to stand during the national anthem. Don’t believe me? Here are ten such infractions, listed in no particular order.

#1 – Yearning for our President to fail for your own political gain. There’s a difference between pointing out perceived failure, and wishing and hoping for failure. Conservatives have spent the past 7+ years doing the latter, actively and openly encouraging President Obama to fail just so they can pat themselves on their backs and tell themselves they were right about him all along. Need examples? Find literally any conservative quote referencing President Obama made since January 20th of 2009.

#2 – Openly praising Vladimir Putin. I mean, this one explains itself doesn’t it?

#3 – Patriotic underpants. I’m not sure if I can name something less patriotic than running the stars and stripes through the crack of your butt. Wait, I can! Farting on it! So yeah, stop with the patriotic underpants, folks.

#4 – Selectively ignoring the Founding Fathers:
Them: The Founding Fathers meant for this country to be a Christian nation!
Me: Actually, they founded The United States based on secularism [*presents evidence*]
Them: Hey, it was a long time ago, none of us know what the Founding Fathers really thought!

#5 – Deciding for yourselves which parts of the country belong to “Real America.” Newsflash, conservatives: all of America is real America. And our different philosophies and our cultural amalgamations are a huge part of what actually, truly makes this country great. So when you try to claim that only parts of the country are “real” or otherwise legitimate, guess what? You’re being a dick, and worse, you’re badmouthing the country as a whole.

#6 – Persistently attempting to set back education. All of this nation’s greatest accomplishments came at the hands of education. Every. Single. One. From the Founding Fathers being well-versed in ancient history and literature and using that knowledge to develop our Constitution, to our lengthy list of American inventions, to landing on the moon, to being able to read this article on the Internet via a miniature computer you can hold in the palm of your hand, education and intellectualism have always played immeasurable roles in making this country great. When you try to force conservative and Christian views into our schools in the place of real science and honest history, you’re actively trying to prevent our country from being great in the future.

#7 – Congressional obstructionism. I’m not really sure which is worse: Republicans on Capitol Hill intentionally derailing our government to prevent the President from winning, or their doing so without actually presenting comprehensive ideas of their own. Either way, voting for officials who do either or both intentionally does actual harm to the country. That’s not very patriotic, is it?

#8 – Supporting Donald Trump. What could be less patriotic than wanting to hand the country over to a petulant orange brat who is openly embraced by hate groups and hasn’t presented a single idea with even the slightest semblance of substance? A vote for Trump equates to open encouragement for the Republic itself to fail. That’s about as unpatriotic as unpatriotic gets.

#9 – Politicizing the deaths of American citizens by inventing phony scandals. Benghazi. ‘Nuff said.

#10 – Whining about Colin Kaepernick. You know that “freedom” you’re always rambling about? Yeah… about that. Freedom means you’re free to think for yourself. You’re free to stand up (or in Kaepernick’s case, sit down) for what you believe in. You’re free to speak your mind openly and not be jailed for being critical of the government.

Thanks to freedom, Colin Kaepernick has every right to sit, stand, do cartwheels, or dance a jig during the National Anthem. You’re free to criticize him for that, too… however idiotic that criticism makes you sound. So by scream-crying about Colin Kaepernick and demanding he be punished for his peaceful protest, you’re actively protesting the very freedom that makes this country great to begin with.

Photo by jkbrooks85