#HackingHillary Isn’t A Scandal. Not Even A Little One

With a presidential candidate as controversial and generally disliked as Hillary Clinton, you’d think right-wing media outlets and the mainstream media itself would have plenty of fodder to use against the former Secretary of State. But apparently, it’s more fun to ramble on about fake scandals like #HackingHillary than to focus on all of her real ones.

For those of you who somehow missed it this past week: Hillary Clinton has been coughing on the campaign trail, and that’s scandalous. Why, you ask? Because Clinton is a secret Iranian spy smuggling a top secret bioweapon into the United States might have a cold.

All week, news outlets big and small have been “reporting” on the fact that Hillary Clinton recently coughed during a campaign rally in Cleveland. And this, coupled with TV doctor Drew Pinksy’s unprofessional assessment that Clinton was on her death bed, has fueled a ridiculous new “scandal” with no real evidence supporting it. A scandal which, if true, would have absolutely no bearing whatsoever on Clinton’s would-be presidency.

Hillary Clinton — she’s 68 years old, by the way — has been on the campaign trail for roughly a year and a half. In that time, she’s been speaking at campaign rallies, televised debates, swanky fundraisers, and in interviews. Most days, she’s doing two or more of those things each and every day. And let’s not forget that she has an absolutely insane travel schedule that most Americans couldn’t withstand for 17 hours, let alone 17 months.

Amid all of that talking and traveling, Clinton is also shaking hands with countless supporters and donors. Her personal space is constantly flooded with unfamiliar faces. Presidential candidates are essentially walking, talking petri dishes for bacteria and germs. Well, other than Donald Trump. He’s a large, orange, multicellular fungal bacteria that has assumed the shape of a quasi-human. He doesn’t count.


Add all of that together, and what do you get? A coughing fit not unlike the one Hillary Clinton experienced in Cleveland. She’s only human (unlike Trump, as we just explained), and presidential campaigns are exhausting. Most of you reading this right now couldn’t physically or mentally handle one. It doesn’t really explain this gross video, but everyone does gross things now and then. Right now, someone is reading this while another person is popping their butt zits. Yes, I’m talking to you, sicko.

In the end, there’s one very simple fact we all need to take a few moments to acknowledge: Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are the two least-liked presidential candidates in American history. And while their respective supporters won’t appreciate this statement, it’s a fact all the same: they’ve given themselves their bad raps more than anyone else possibly ever could.

There’s more than enough fodder with which Hillary Clinton can be attacked legitimately and fairly, without needing to invent phony scandals out of thin air. I’d say the same about Donald Trump, but in his case, he creates scandals so often that it’s rather impossible for anyone to really keep up with him.

So no, the #HackingHillary scandal isn’t really a scandal at all. No, Hillary Clinton’s having coughed on stage doesn’t indicate she’s clinging on desperately to the last thread of her life. Seriously, America… there’s real shit happening in the world each and every day. Get a grip.

Photo by mdfriendofhillary

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